I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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