You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
