Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
