i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
last night I used snow as a chaser
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
