i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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