hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
