just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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