He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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