how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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