Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
