I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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