Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
