you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
