Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize