Umm I'm too high to move.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize