What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i think i have herpe
just one?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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