woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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