omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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