Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
