So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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