You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
