Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
