They should really pass out barf bags in church
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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