I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
