oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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