fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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