I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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