How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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