haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
