So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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