That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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