when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
