I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
