if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
