He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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