i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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