Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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