i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
