Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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