the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
