he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
