i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
