Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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