You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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