you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
