I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
