I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it hurts more in the daytime
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wear drunk well.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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