Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's get the cat blown out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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