Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
