i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
