You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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