So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
