dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
