You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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