Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
