so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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