I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
