and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
