Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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