The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
